Philippians 1:12-25, Maggie's Paraphrase

I am attempting to re-write some difficult passages, in an effort to grapple with the meaning and tone of these messages. I have taken liberties with the text, so please take them with a grain of salt. I welcome your comments or your version of a paraphrase in reply.

Philippians 1:12-25
It is important that you know that what has happened to me has really been the providential will of God, and is in fact providing opportunity for the advancement of the gospel. The whole palace guard and everyone here is now awakened to the reality that I am here in chains in the service of Christ. In fact, my being in chains has actually encouraged most of our brothers in the Lord to deliver the Word of God more courageously and fearlessly than ever.

There are some men, who, perhaps wishing to match what they suppose to be my “religious devotion”, preach the gospel out of envy and rivalry, but there are others who continue to preach out of goodwill. Those last do so in love, because they know that I am put here because I am a defender of the faith. The envious preach Christ for the sake of getting attention or power—not sincerely. Some who despise me even hope to increase my grief. This, by stirring up more trouble while they suppose I lay helpless in my enemies’ hands. But it doesn’t matter why men are preaching. The important thing is that in every way, according to the providential will of God, Christ is preached, both from false motive and from true. And so, I rejoice.

Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, because I know that your prayers and the help of the Holy Spirit will result in my deliverance. I eagerly expect and hope that I will have no cause for shame, but that Christ will grant me sufficient courage to continue to glorify Him despite my human frailty (whether in life or in death). For in life, my aim is for Christ continually. But, to die is to receive and be received by Him. Still, as long as I live, I have opportunity to bear fruit. So which is better? I don’t know. I am torn between the two. I long to leave this world to be with Christ (which is far better), but for your needs’ sake I am compelled to remain . Yes, I am convinced that I will remain among you, striving for your spiritual development and joy.